


phantom, be still in my heart

by nymphrea



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, Miscarriage, Mostly Canon Compliant, Secret Relationship, hand holding, post-season two
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-23
Updated: 2017-06-23
Packaged: 2018-11-18 02:06:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11281503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nymphrea/pseuds/nymphrea
Summary: The planet they touch down on is similar to Earth; a sky-blue atmosphere, clear white waters and breathable air that feels like a promise when she inhales it. The Black Lion grumbles as she descends the ramp, and she pats him distractedly before taking off.She should have looked back. She should have seen the Black Lion curl up, growling, and activate his ion shield. She should have seen the anomalies in the sky that were camouflaged ships.She should have seen the trap.





	phantom, be still in my heart

**Author's Note:**

  * For [catastrxphique](https://archiveofourown.org/users/catastrxphique/gifts).



> i hope you're proud of yourself, jo
> 
> tw: some blood and a reference to miscarriage later on

_She’s still in her nightgown, but it doesn’t matter because he’s out there, alive, and she can’t waste another second. This is what she uses to convince the Black Lion to open his mouth, to let her enter, let her save his Paladin, and he grumbles, but opens his mouth, inviting her in._

_Sweating hands wrap around the controls, and she opens the hatch, ejecting her into space, and she takes a deep breath. “I’m coming for you, Shiro.”_

_Space is quiet and infinite around her, and she leaves the Black Lion to pilot them to the location, leaving him on autopilot, and approaches the closet built into one of his panels, and when she opens it, looking for an extra set of armor or at least pants, she gasps._

_There, in the panel, are drawings of her, sketches shaded to perfection, and she whimpers. She had no idea Shiro drew, and she recognizes the poses she’s in; on deck, drawing up her screens; on the observation deck, looking out into space; laughing as she throws a handful of space goo at someone off-screen._

_Allura doesn’t remember falling to her knees but the sound echoes around the empty cockpit and her body aches where they hit the cold, metal ground. She sorts through the torn pages with shaking fingers and watery eyes that blur her vision around the edges. There’s a stack of them, and the farther into the pile she gets, the more personal they get._

_She realizes the reason they get more intimate is it’s because it’s after they became lovers, after they started sharing a bed, chasing away each other’s nightmares, and there’s sketches of sheets twisted around legs, soft smiles mingling in the warmth between them._

_The one on the bottom is what brings her tears to sobs; gut-wrenching heaves that cause the Black Lion to grumble at her, concerned, and her fingers tremble as she traces over the charcoal lines that make up her face, smooth with sleep, and she realizes this must be from only weeks ago, one of the last nights they slept together._

* * *

_After a long night, they had fallen into bed, together, and the next morning, Shiro had woken before her, as he usually did, but when she awoke, her body aching pleasantly from their connection the night before, he had still been there._

_The Black Paladin had traced her chin and pulled in for a soft kiss that left her wanting more, wanting to stay in bed for days and not leaving the little bubble they existed in, one they had built to keep away the nightmares._

_His lips were soft, warm, and slightly chapped, and she had giggled against his lips she rolled over on top of him. Leaning back, she drunk in the sight of him, and she swears if this is what Earth alcohol makes you feel, then she wants none._

_The puff of white hair that lays across his forehead is tangled, and is sticking up in different directions from sweat that comes from their close quarters all-night long, and his hands settle on her hips, covered in a sheet and nothing more, and she leans down to claim another kiss from her lover’s lips._

_The moment doesn’t last long, however, because there’s a knock on her door and she gasps into his mouth, and in one fluid moment, pushes him off the bed in panic and pulls the sheets and blankets up over her naked figure._

_There’s movement on the floor, and Allura winces as she calls out. “Come in!”_

_The door slides open to reveal Coran, who is sweating. “Princess, we’ve spotted a small Galra fleet only a galaxy over…” He trails off, taking in her state with a raised eyebrow, and she raises one back, panicking on the inside, hoping it doesn’t show._

_“Yes?”_

_Her advisor shakes his head, already retreating back into the hallway. “I’m sorry, Allura. I’ll alert the Paladins.” Then he’s turning, and she breathes out, thinking she’s home free, and the door starts to slide shut._

_Suddenly his hand is there again, and he’s sticking his head back in and she tenses up. “Coran?”_

_“Have you seen Shiro at all this morning? He’s not in the Training Room like he usually is at this time.” Her heart stops beating for a few seconds, but she allows herself to shrug. “No, I have not. Maybe he’s in his room?”_

_Coran nods, and leaves without another word, and Allura allows herself to breathe again, shuffling to the other side of the queen-sized bed where she leans over the side, taking in the view of her lover, splayed on the floor, nude._

_She giggles, and he looks up, scowling, but she knows there’s no malice there. “Enjoying the view, your highness?” Allura tucks a hand under her chin, watching him with amusement._

_“Quite, my dear.”_

* * *

She doesn’t know if she can open portals without her controls back in the Castle of Lions, but it’s a thought she didn’t entertain until now, too determined to get Shiro back, so she lays her hands on the control, covered in an extra set of his armor that smells like him, and closes her eyes.

 

The Black Lion grumbles, and in front of her, a portal sputters open. She whoops, and her head spins with the sudden movement, her body still drained from days without food or sleep, but she can’t think of that because she’s urging the Lion forward into the swirling portal.

 

She’s coming.

* * *

He doesn’t know how long he can hold on.

 

If he’s correct, the moon cycles read he’s been on this planet for about a week, and just turning his head to look up at the sky now sends stabbing pains down his body, reminding him of the extensive injuries that litter his body.

 

His arm spasms with leftover electricity from his interrogation, and the unwanted twitching causes his chest to ache and he coughs, blood spilling from his lips and staining his chin. He can’t seem to care though because he’s looking up, staring at constellations that are familiar, and take him back to a time where his arms weren’t wrapped around his wounds, but _her._

* * *

  _Sweat pours down his face and he pants, screwing the cap off the bottle of water and taking a long gulp before he wipes his face on the towel thrown across his shoulder, and he daydreams of a cold shower._

_His footsteps echo down the hallway, alone and quiet, because it’s still “early” by his team’s account, although there are no days or nights in space, just an endless sea of darkness._

_He’s just passing by another hallway when he hears something that faintly sounds like someone sobbing, and he presses himself against the wall, concerned. Who could be up at this time, and where does the hallway lead?_

_Shiro creeps along the side, water bottle and towel lay forgotten at the mouth of the dark hallway, and he activates his hand for a source of light as he strays farther and farther from the corridor behind him. The sobbing gets louder, and he thinks it’s a woman by the sound of it._

_He reaches the door and hits the button softly, and the door slides open soundlessly, and he immediately deactivates his arm, because there’s Allura, in the middle of an open room, sitting in front of a broken base where Shiro knows her father’s memories were once._

_After being forced to delete the king’s memories from the ship after the episode with the “haunted” castle (Lance’s words, not his), he knew the Princess would disappear for hours at time during their downtime, after dinnertime and before breakfast._

_He wonders if this is where she’s been. Grasping at straws, hoping a trace of her lost father remains in the cold walls, and his heart breaks for her as she sobs again, hunched over before the base._

_Shiro acts on instinct, not thinking as a teammate but as a friend, and suddenly his arms are around her, holding her close as he draws her in, and she sobs into his chest, and the air around them is full of love and support, one of those being something that doesn’t belong between teammates, but he doesn’t care._

_Allura whispers her thanks into his chest and breathes him in, the smell of him drawing her in. He smells of sweat and metal, and she rationalizes he must have been heading back to his room when he heard her._

_His muscular, toned arms around her, the world fades, and all she sees is his shirt, stuck to his chest with sweat, and everything feels so **right** , that she doesn’t think twice before leaning up and sealing her lips against his._

_Her first thought is how soft his lips are, so different than what she imagined, but the train of thought derails because her mind is foggy with want and sorrow and she thinks she might be dreaming when his arms tighten around her and he shifts, deepening the kiss._

_Shiro kisses the way he fights, passionate and willful, but she’s the one that has to make a first move, he holds her like a porcelain doll, afraid she’ll break within his grasp, and she captures his bottom lip with her teeth and he gasps into her mouth._

_At this point, she’s turned towards him, and she cards her hands through his soft hair, scratching lightly at his scalp as the kiss turns into something deeper, and his arms are wrapped around her like a vice, but she doesn’t mind as his human hand rubs circles into her shoulder._

_His mouth trails from hers, to her cheeks, and he peppers her face in small kisses that leave her aching, and realizes it’s been over 10,000 years since she’s had this. Her last courter hadn’t been interested in small things like this; he never softly pressed his lips to her forehead or stroked her shoulder, and she falls head-first into something that she knows isn’t right but she isn’t letting her brain run the show._

_Her heart beats purple._

* * *

_“I’m losing my patience, boy. Where is your team?”_

_Nothing. Pain races through his veins, chilling him to the bone, and the laceration across his chest drips blood down his hips. It’s a slow descent, and it’s one that carves blooming agony into his skin but he ignores it because he can’t bear to lose consciousness now._

* * *

 The planet they touch down on is similar to Earth; a sky-blue atmosphere, clear white waters and breathable air that feels like a promise when she breathes it in. The Black Lion grumbles as she descends the ramp, and she pats him distractedly before taking off.

She should have looked back. She should have seen the Black Lion curl up, growling, and activate his ion shield. She should have seen the anomalies in the sky that were camouflaged ships.

She should have seen the trap.

* * *

_He slumps forward, throat raw from screaming and body wet from sweat and his own tears, and off to the side, Haggar cackles. “I wonder how she’s doing, Champion.”_

_His eyes stayed glued to the floor, and his dislocated shoulder screams at him. “Shut up.” Shiro can see Zarkon’s assistant circling him, her purple robe trailing behind her, but he can’t seem to care because the blood from the cut on his forehead is drying on his eyelids, making it hard for him to open them any farther._

_This is a huge disadvantage, because he can’t prepare himself for something he can’t see._

_When he was captured the first time and they had tortured him, he learned to disassociate himself. He learned to retract into his own mind, make up a world where he could stay until it was over, and yes, the pain was still there, but he could watch it from a distance._

_Or not at all._

_“How could she ever love you? You, our greatest weapon.”_

_He growls. “Shut up, witch.”_

_Then she’s in his face, wrenching his chin to level with hers. “You really think she loves you? Last time I visited her cell, she gave you up within seconds. She smiled when we showed her the recording. She doesn’t love you, Champion.”_

_“I thought I told you to shut up.”_

_“I thought I taught you love is weakness, **Taskashi**.” She spits the last word, his name a poison on her tongue, something he smirks at because that’s not the name she gave him, but then the name sinks in._

_They never knew his name._

_Allura._

_He screams, eyes wide with panic, and he’s thrashing against the restraints that hold his arms captive above his head. Pain shoots up his arm from the sudden movement of his dislocated shoulder, but it doesn’t matter because that’s what Allura calls him, she was the only one who knew his real name._

_“Looks like I hit a nerve.”_

_She’s face-to-face with him, eye-level, and in a moment of anger and revenge and blood lust, he spits in her face. “Go to hell, **witch.** ”_

_The look on her face under her dark hood is worth it, he thinks, before lightning leaves her fingers, and it hits his chest, right where the deep laceration is, and he screams, twisting, and the movement causes the quintessence from her fingers to zap the cuffs, weakening them._

_He’s moving before the guards or Haggar can figure out what happened._

_With a scream he wrenches his arms free and suddenly his hands aren’t tied, but around her neck, and the Galra soldiers are caught so off-guard that there’s three beats of silence before they move, yelling at him to let her go, and Haggar cackles under his grip._

_“You’re just...like…us.”_

* * *

The waves lap up against his legs, and he groans at the shocking cold of the water, knowing that with every pulse of the ocean, his own slows as the water washes away the blood that’s trying to clot.

 

He can’t hold on much longer.

 

Half dead and delirious from shock and blood-loss, he counts the stars visible in the sky and thinks of his teammates.

 

Once he dies here, alone, and they find him, Keith is going to lead Voltron. Of course, they would have to find a new Paladin for the Red Lion, but Shiro is confident in the pilot’s abilities. Yes, the boy could be impulsive and a hothead, but he is a natural-born leader and can think clearly under pressure.

 

Shiro hopes he doesn’t pull away from the team like he did after he was taken from the Garrison.

 

He wishes safety on the team, staring up at the sky, his breathing hitching and smoothing, the end near. He hopes Pidge, _Katie,_ finds her family, finds Matt, and explains everything. He hopes Lance gets to go back to Earth after this is all over; he knows how much the Cuban boy misses his family. He hopes Hunk doesn’t lose hope, doesn’t lose the light in his eyes, his boyish excitement.

 

He hopes Allura understands why he did what he did.

 

It’s all he can ask for.

* * *

Allura hears him before she sees him, rounding a rock by the shore, and she hears a groan. Panicked, she ducks behind the shelter and peeks around, and there he is, bleeding into the water that laps up around his legs, dragging him bit by bit into the ocean, and tears leak down her cheeks.

 

She’s so close.

 

Disregarding everything she was ever taught by her father, she sprints from behind the rock cropping, feet sliding in the sand, full of relief, and in her tunnel vision that is fixated on _him_ , and only him, she doesn’t hear the shot until it’s tearing through her side.

 

She hits the sand with a scream, and Shiro’s turning his head, eyes half-lidded, until they focus on her, and she sees his breathing hitch. He says something, yelling, struggling to push himself up on shaky arms, but she can’t hear a thing.

 

It was a trap, and she walked right into it, numb and blind by her urgency to save her lover.

 

Blood rushes through her ears and Shiro’s dragging himself through the sand with whimpers that slice through her heartstrings, and another shot rings out, and he falls. She screams as blood flows freely from his shoulder and he collapses again into the sand, but only for a second because he’s back up again, undeterred from getting to her.

 

Boots crunch the sand in front of her and she turns her face, covered in sand and flowing with tears, so find a sneering Galra looking down at her. He crouches, taking her chin in his rough hands, and she spits in his face, face full of all malice she can muster.

 

He recoils, and before she can revel in her victory, there’s a sharp pain across her cheekbone that has her crying out, her face slamming back into the sand, and Shiro’s roaring.

 

_“DON’T TOUCH HER!”_

 

A shaking hand reaches up to her face, brushing over a bump that’s already starting to form and bleeding slightly, and she sees the gun in the hand of the Galra soldier that she spat at, and she puts the pieces together—he pistol whipped her. He’s laughing, an ugly thing, as a hand wraps around her own and she looks over to see her lover at her side, and tears blur her vision.

 

Their connected limbs cause those circled around them to laugh mockingly, and Shiro screams as someone slams their boot into his stomach, where she can see an angry red wound, open and irritated. Allura cries out, trying to throw herself over him, trying to cover his muscular yet frail form with her own skinny one, but it doesn’t matter because she’s drug off him.

 

Kicking and screaming, she’s sobbing, and she can see through her blurred vision as Shiro looks up, eyes connecting with something in the sky before he goes limp, startling the guards holding him and their grip loosens.

 

There’s a rumbling above them, something that shakes the shifting grounds around her, and all she comprehend in those moments is Shiro kicking out, and bounding three steps to throw himself at her as shots ring out and she feels sharp and sudden pains in her neck, in her shoulder and exposed side.

 

There’s a weight on her she recognizes and she relaxes, letting her eyes fall close and melting against him, allowing herself to slip into darkness that only allows her snapshots of what’s happening.

 

Gunshots that scream through the air cause her to wince.

 

Hands, so many hands all over her body.

 

Voices that cause her head to throb angrily.

 

Something descending from the sky, glowing in the pale light.

 

And those frantic dark grey eyes she so adores, in her face, and she remembers weakly smiling up them, happily slipping away into the quiet of her mind, knowing he’ll survive.

 

It’s all she wanted.

* * *

The field around her is so much like the one her and her father and mother used to have picnics in that her heart aches, but it’s not out of sadness, it’s a memory of something happy, nostalgic. The wind blows lazily by, bees buzzing by her ear and she lies under a shady tree, on her back.

 

A red-and-white checkered blanket is soft underneath her fingertips, and she spins a flower between her thumb and pointer finger, watching the purple petals wave in the warm, summer breeze.

 

There’s something off, something not quite right about the whole thing, but it’s such a quiet and happy scene that she can’t bear to let it get to her. Allura knows the scene is fake, knows her mind is trying to disassociate itself from her fatal wounds, and she finds it fair.

 

Her life for Shiro’s. Her soul for her lover’s.

 

It’s only fair. She has lived far beyond her limit, asleep in that cryo-tube for 10,000 years more than she should, and she can feel the universe shifting around her, disrupted by her every breath. Breaths she shouldn’t be taking.

 

Allura is 22, but also 10,022, and her time is up.

 

She smiles, at peace, as she blows at the petals, watching them as they’re swept up in the breeze and dance higher and higher into the sky until she can’t see them anymore, and knows her time is up.

 

Rolling to the side, her lips curve as she watches her lover beside her, deep in slumber. A hand brushes against his chin, along his jawline, and she buries her hand in his cropped hair, leaning close to place a soft kiss on his lips.

 

_“Goodbye, my love.”_

* * *

Allura wakes up screaming.

 

She’s surrounded, enclosed behind glass that doesn’t yield under her panicked fists that pound at the translucent panes, and outside the place she’s trapped in, she hears beeping that increasingly gets faster, and she can’t breathe, can’t move, because she’s supposed to be dead.

 

There’s someone outside her room, a blurry silhouette that’s fuzzy around the edges, and she yells, throat raw and bile raising in her irritated windpipe as they approach, and suddenly there’s gas surrounding her, lulling her back to sleep, and she embraces that darkness gladly.

* * *

She doesn’t know when she wakes next, but there’s suddenly no barriers and she’s freefalling, the world blurring around her, and familiar arms reach out for her, but when she looks up, her parents aren’t there, waiting for her at the gates that’ll lead her home.

 

Instead there’s Coran, her advisor, her _friend_ , very much alive and tears staining his cheeks, and there’s the rest of Voltron behind him, all in various states of undress and mussed with sleep, but eyes wide.

 

She buries her face in his chest and cries for the world, mourns the loss of her lover, because if she’s alive he must be gone.

 

A life for a life.

* * *

_The stars are winking outside the window, and she’s sitting up in bed, sheets pooling around her hips as she looks down at her lover, his face smooth with sleep, and she trails a finger over his cheek before leaning over and pressing her lips to his forehead._

_He mumbles in his sleep, smiling slightly and unconsciously shifts toward her, but she’s already out of the bed, lifting her discarded clothes and retreating to the bathroom. Once the door slides close behind her, she leans her head against it, wondering if she’s done the right thing._

_She had been hurting the night before, lost and alone in her own thoughts as she kneeled before the metal base that once held her father’s memories, and he had come to her rescue, sweeping her into his arms and providing her comfort she hadn’t felt in eons._

_He had carried her back to her room, laying her in bed and turning away when she grabbed his wrist, pleading with him to stay, and she remembers the war in his eyes, the gentleman inside grappling with the woman on the bed before him._

_He had nodded, face soft with compassion, and had crawled in beside her, pulling the blankets over them, and she had fit her body to his, claiming his lips as her own, and everything else was history._

_She wishes she could go back to those times, when everything was simpler and her biggest worry was whether or not to embrace the very obvious feeling she had for the man asleep in her bed._

* * *

The next time she wakes, she’s in the infirmary, wrists and ankles strapped to a bed with cold metal that digs into her skin and she panics, throat raw as she cries out, but then there’s someone there, shushing her, and she turns her head.

 

The man in the seat next to her has huge bags under his violet eyes, and she feels guilty. She’s not the only one who’s affected by Shiro’s death, and she stretches out her hand, as far as the cuffs will let her go, and Keith slides his cold hand into hers without hesitation.

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

Her throat is scratchy and dry from misuse, rusty from how long it’s been since she has used it, and Keith’s eyebrows furrow, leaning forward, holding her shaking hand to his chest.

 

“For what, Princess? This wasn’t your fault.”

 

Tears are pooling in the corners of her eyes, spilling down her oily and unwashed cheeks, and using the hand that isn’t clasped in hers, Keith wipes them away softly and she leans into his touch.

 

"It’s…it’s my fault he’s gone.” The confusion in his eyes deepens, and she’s leaning forward, despite his protests, and her body screams at her.

 

“I killed him, I killed Shiro, I’m sorry, so sorry, so so sorry, please Keith, please…” She dissolves into tears and Keith’s there, his arms around her, but it’s not right. Shiro should be the one in this bed, alive, wrapped in Keith’s arms, his surrogate brother’s, his friend’s, not hers.

 

Allura weeps for her lover, weeps for the team she swore to protect and then destroyed herself, and Keith says something, murmuring against her hair that hangs around her face in strings because it’s been forever since she bathed, but she can’t hear over her own breathing.

 

Her chest hurts with every breath and she scratches at it, sobbing tears that roll like raindrops down her face, and her fingers dig into the paper gown she’s in, tearing it where bullets ripped through her, and she’s drowning again.

 

Keith yells something, someone yells something back, and the last thing she sees before she fades again is the Red Paladin’s eyes, concerned and far away as she surrenders into the arms of the temptress of sleep.

* * *

_Shiro wonders if this is the end._

_He wonders if his last sight will be of his lover, limp and bleeding in the sand despite his pleas for her to open her eyes,_ please Allura, open your eyes, for me _, and his shaking hands aren’t enough to stanch the bleeding from her neck, her side, her shoulder._

_He doesn’t have to worry for long because a shot rings out and he yells in pain as a bullet rips through his back, and he collapses on top of the Princess of Altea, and with his last bit of strength, he curls around her, protecting her to his last breath, because she has to be alright, she has to live._

_It doesn’t matter if he dies, if he slips away, because he’s the one who caused this, who brought her here in the first place. He might not have pushed the button to activate his tracking beacon, that action belonging to one of the Galra who now lies dead in the sand, but it’s a fair trade._

_A life for a life._

_His soul for his lover’s._

_Shiro surrenders to the darkness, fading away knowing she’ll be okay. She’ll move on, she’ll live, they’ll find a more worthy pilot of the Black Lion, someone with less baggage and an arm that isn’t full of enemy technology._

_He hopes Keith understands._

_He hopes Keith understands why he did what he did._

* * *

_She ends up discarding her clothes from the night before in the chute after her shower, and she emerges from the steam-filled bathroom wrapped in only a silky baby-blue robe that her mother gave her for one of her birthdays._

_Allura looks up from tying a knot in the belt, and her heart melts into her ribs at the sight before her. There on the bed still lays Shiro, lightly snoring. A smile slowly forming on her lips, she crosses the room, sitting on the edge of the bed and looks down at him._

_The Black Paladin is laying on his stomach, sheets draped over his lower back as his head is turned towards her, and under the thin blankets, she sees he has one foot tucked under the knee of his other, and she wonders if this is what her mother felt for her father._

_She wonders if this is love._

_Alteans are a race of those who fall hard and fast, and they keep their mate for life._

_Allura wonders if she’s found her mate as she traces the scars on her lover’s back softly, fingertips barely brushing them, and she remembers the night before. She remembers how she touched them and he had blushed, embarrassed to show them, and how quickly she was to reassure him how_ beautiful _he was._

_She remembers the look in his eyes, something primal and intimate and_ lovely, _before their lips crashed against each other’s again, how she giggled into his mouth and tilted her head to deepen the kiss, how he caught her tongue between his teeth and she had moaned._

_Lost in thought, staring across the room at the huge one-way window, she doesn’t hear the shifting of sheets and the signs her lover is awake, and when soft lips find her shoulder where her robs has slipped off her figure._

_Turning her head, she smiles down at the man who has buried his nose in the crook of her neck. “Good morning, Shiro.”_

_She can feel him smile into her skin, and his head spins with the lovely smell that radiates off it, something flowery and light, and one of his hands finds its way into her hair and fingers the nape of her neck._

_Allura moans, low and lovely, and something sparks deep within him. He lightly scratches his fingernails where they lie, right under her hairline, and she tilts her had back onto his shoulder, seeking more, and he attaches his lips to her neck._

_Her breath hitches, her heartbeat fluttering, and she squirms against him lightly as he sucks on the sensitive spot, scraping his teeth across the portion of skin before running his tongue over it, soothing it, and Allura_ melts _into his touch, sighing._

_The world outside the room is uncertain, but for now the two lovebirds are content to stay right where they are, wrapped in each other’s arms._

* * *

The final time Allura wakes up, she comes to slowly, body aching and mind foggy, and when her vision finally clears, she’s in her room, tucked under blankets. When she lifts her head to look around, there’s Keith again, leaning up against the wall closest to her bed, and his head is down.

 

What shocks her is the boy leaning up against him, brown hair falling in front of his eyes, and her eyes travel to their interlocked hands.

 

Allura smiles, she _always_ knew they liked each other, and when she asked Shiro about it, the man had _smirked_ and shrugged, before kissing her forehead and wandering away, probably to train. There’s a pang in her heart as she remembers the conversation, remembers the brush of his lips to her forehead.

 

A sob builds quickly in her throat as she looks down at her hands, balled in the sheets, and she thinks back to the last time she was here; the ‘morning’ before the fight that ripped him from her, when she tore out of her room like a mad woman, determined to find him.

 

She remembers the laughing, the soft kisses that trailed down her abdomen, the sensitive spots in her neck, the way he looked at her; like she was oxygen and he was drowning, and she remembers the way he moaned into her open mouth when she moved against him.

 

She doesn’t realize she’s sobbing into the pillow his head rest on, propping himself up on his elbow and smiling down at her and tracing the curves of her hips over the sheets until her hand hits something that crumples beneath her grasp and her breath stutters.

 

Sucking in a shaky puff of air, she pulls the thing from inside the pillowcase and instantly, there’s no breath in her lungs.

 

Allura recalls the team went to the Space Mall to find glass to fix the portal-maker, and she remembers shaking her head as they came back loaded down with the teledoves, yes, but also other Earth contraptions, and one of them was what Pidge claimed was a ‘camera’.

 

The Green Paladin had laughed at the look on her and Coran’s face when she told them to pose, and they had, confused, until she held it up and it flashed, and when she showed them it later, there on the paper was a snapshot of…them.

 

Her royal advisor had immediately been fascinated with the Earthen device, and had gone around taking pictures of anything and everything (until they took it away from him), and had smirked when he handed over a folder to her as she passed him in the hall.

 

After closing her door, she had opened it and blushed. There was Shiro, shirtless, covered in sweat, captured in mid-jump, arm stretched behind him and leg extended, getting ready to swing forward and deliver the final blow to the simulation.

 

There were more, and with each one, it became harder and harder for the Altean Princess to decide whether to thank or hit Coran upside the head next time she saw him. She ended up thanking him, a pink blush covering her cheeks and causing her ears to heat up when he shrugged and smirked, sauntering off and throwing a _you’re welcome!_ over his shoulder, like the smug bastard he was.

 

The piece of paper in her hand is the same material those photos were printed on, and a new wave of tears falls from her eyes, which are already sore from crying so much, and her fingertips brush the ink, lips forming syllables but not words.

 

There, in clear color, is her lover, smiling wide and happily as he prods at her, and she can see her platinum hair and brown ears sticking out from under the blanket, and she wonders if this was a group effort, after all, by the angle, it couldn’t have been Shiro alone, and it hits her that _someone_ on the team knows about them.

 

She wonders whom.

* * *

Keith and Lance wake up only minutes after she discovers the picture, and she slips the polaroid into her pocket before they open their eyes, and she raises an eyebrow at their interlocked hands, but there’s no shame in their faces as they stare her back down.

 

The lack of embarrassment at getting caught holding hands bares witness to how long she’s been asleep, and once again she’s hit with guilt. The only two people she’s seen in the past…weeks? months?...are Coran and Keith, and now Lance, and she’s lost it every time she woke up.

 

She forgets she wasn’t the only one who loved the Black Paladin. Keith was like his little brother, Shiro being his mentor and confident, and despite the whining that came from Lance whenever the team leader ordered him around, she sees the clear bags under their eyes.

 

Allura wonders if they’ve been finding comfort in each other’s arms like she and Shiro once did.

* * *

For the first time in three weeks, Allura walks through the halls of her own accord, and she’s met with a soft hug from Hunk and a compassionate look from Pidge as she passes them in hall, and it almost brings tears to her eyes again, but she seems to be dried out.

 

She’s grateful though, because despite taking a shower and using some of her precious concealer she swiped under her eyes, her eyes are still lugging around large bags and rims of red that clearly show her mourning.

 

She’s so tired of crying, so tired of running, so tired of sleeping, and her finger itches to pull the trigger on Zarkon.

 

Allura is just _bone_ tired.

 

The whole team can tell, and she knows it. She can see it in the way they cast worried looks at her as they practice, and the way she drags herself through the hall, forces herself to eat at dinnertime, eyes on the table, avoiding the concerned looks of those around her.

 

She wants revenge, she wants the satisfaction of looking the Galra in the eye and squeezing the trigger, watching their leader struggle for breath and waiting as the light leaves his eye. As soon as the fantasy enters her mind, though, she finds herself overwhelmed in guilt because this is _not_ what Shiro would have wanted.

 

Finally during the second week of her being awake, Coran throws his hands in the air, upturning his bowl, and doesn’t pay attention to the goo making it’s way across the tabletop. “I can’t do this anymore!”

 

Keith turns, concerned, and Allura recognizes the crook of his arm and realizes he’s holding Lance’s hand under the table. She watches his face, watches the flash of emotions before it’s smoothed over. “Coran, I don’t think that’s wise—“

 

Her advisor waves his hands around, voice getting louder the more agitated he gets. “Keith, that doesn’t matter! I can’t do this anymore, I can’t watch Allura pull farther and farther into herself while we walk around knowing things she doesn’t.”

 

The two stare each other down, and finally the Red Paladin breathes out, slumping in his chair, running a hand through his hair. “Fine.”

 

Then Coran’s tugging at her arm, and she’s up, stumbling behind him as he pulls her along, footsteps hurried with a secret he can no longer keep from her, and as he drags her, her wind wanders to things he could be talking about.

 

He’d been extremely vague at the table, but she figures whatever he’s about to tell—or show—her is a huge deal by the way the team had reacted. Hunk had stiffened in his seat, fork frozen in his grasp, Pidge had gasped, Lance’s eyes had grown wide and Keith had protested.

 

As he pulls her along, his voice echoing off the cold corridors, and he begins explaining something that takes her breath away, because it’s installing hope where there hasn’t been any in a while, almost three months, and she can’t let herself hope again in a lost cause, but it’s too late.

 

“When we rescued the pair of you, both of you had lost so much blood that we were worried _neither_ one of you would survive. We knew the first forty-eight hours would be the most critical to telling whether you and Shiro would make it, and within three hours of patching you up best we could and sticking you in the healing pods, it became evident that it wouldn’t be enough for him.”

 

He takes a breath, cutting a quick corner, and Allura finds herself in a part of the castle she doesn’t remember exploring, and the lights get dimmer than farther they wander into the hallway, but Coran’s still going.

 

“We had to remove him from the healing pod after we found his ruptured liver, which caused internal bleeding, and it was filling up his lungs faster than we could pump it out, and no matter what we did, we couldn’t stop it.”

 

She sucks in a breath as they stop abruptly and he’s blocking her view of the door, bending over her, like her father used to, and she can’t let the weak flutter of false hope in her chest escape through her ribs and into her heart.

 

“We had to stick him in a cryo-tube until we could figure out how to stop the bleeding, and we almost lost him _so many times._ There were so many scares that I…started uploading his memories into the castle, like your father did before he put _us_ into cryo, and…”

 

She can’t take it anymore because there’s hope in her chest, taking up her lungs, drowning her in feeling she’s repressed for _weeks, months_ , and she’s ducking, pressing her hand to the sensor next to the door and it slides open.

 

What lies inside takes her breath away and she falls to her knees, shaking fingers reaching up for her mouth because he’s _there,_ right in front of her, alive, suspended in a cryo-tube. He’s _alive_ , he’s breathing, he has a pulse, and there’s someone at her arm, trying to talk to her but she pushes them away.

 

She slips on the hem of the nightgown she hasn’t changed out of in days, and suddenly she’s in front of him, and they’re separated by a thick layer of frosted glass, but her hands frantically wipe away the condensation and the sob that rips from her throat is something so animalistic and primal that Coran winces behind her.

 

There’s Shiro, right in front of her, _alive_.

 

To her right, there’s a metal and glass tube-like contraption that glitters with purple essence, and she rests her cheek on the glass, pushing herself against the barrier between them, trying to get as close to him as she can.

 

She soaks in his face, eye wide and fingertips pressed to the glass that curves right above his face, and it’s been three months since she’s seen his face in real life. The only reminder of his jawline and cheekbones and that puckered scar across his nose that she loved to kiss to wake him in the morning living on only through the picture she found under her— _his_ —pillow and her own memories and dreams.

 

The cylinder of memories to the right of the cryo-tube flickers to life, and her breath hitches at the apparition before her. There he is, her lover, her fighter, her Black Paladin, before her, glowing purple, and he smiles down at her, soft around the edges.

 

_“Allura.”_

She hits the ground with a sound that resonates around the corridor, and the last thing she sees is Coran above her before she passes out from exhaustion and shock.

* * *

She wonders when she comes to, whether it’s been minutes or hours or days or even _weeks_ again, but as soon as she looks up, there’s Coran, right above her, hanging over her figure, worry evident in her eyes and she looks over and there he is, and she almost sobs.

 

_“Shiro.”_

 

The hologram smiles, extending a hand to her, and for a moment she thinks it’s real because she reaches out for it, but her hand passes right through his, and her face falls. She remembers the projection in front of her is not her lover, rather his memories making up a part of him, and when she looks to her left, there he is.

 

Still entombed in ice, her shaking hand touches the glass where his feet are, right at the base, and tears spill from her face because she can’t believe he’s _here,_ he’s _alive,_ that he’s right in front of her yet so far away.

 

“I’ve missed you.”

 

The projection of the Black Paladin smiles, dipping his head briefly as a sign of agreeing. “And I you, Princess.”

 

Her legs unfold under her and she tries to stand, feet slipping from being wrapped in one of her dresses, his favorite actually, and Coran’s at her elbow helping her up, and once she’s up she wobbles before turning to him.

 

“Can…can you leave, please? I…” Her voice trails off, words still failing her, but Coran understands, smiling softly, and leans down to kiss her forehead. “Alright.”

 

Then he’s gone, the door sliding shut behind him, and the metal panels around them melt away until the world around them is bright, and when she looks around, they’re under the oak tree from her dream, and there on the blanket beside her is Shiro, eyes closed and breathing deeply under the clouds.

 

Wisps of his hair fall across his forehead, spurred by the wind, and she brushes them back, and with his eyes still closed, he smiles, sighing, and everything is serene around them as they relax, just happy to be near one another.

 

The warm breeze flutters across her face, and all she wants to do is close her eyes to the summer world around her, but she can’t, so she rolls over onto her side, tucking an arm under her head, pillowing it.

 

Within seconds her lover’s eyes open and they squint, adjusting to the light, before they turn on her, and it’s been _so_ long since she’s seen his strong grey pupils that tears pool in her eyes and his face softens.

 

Suddenly Allura’s surrounded in a familiar warmth, locked in an embrace that makes her heart ache and she’s blinking away tears as she buries her face in a scent that’s been long gone from the pillow by her side.

 

Shiro smells just like she remembers, like dirt and something musty, and she inhales it like air, and his chest rumbles with every breath, and Allura wants to fall asleep to the palpitations to his beating heart, something she thought she would never hear again. Despite her wishes, she has to push herself away, has to break away from the sanctuary of his arms, has to wraps her own arms around herself, trying to make up for the lost moment.

 

She knows this is a simulation, that the oak tree they lay under isn’t real, neither is the blanket they lounge on, their hands interlocked on the soft fabric, and the silky yellow and pink summer dress that ruffles against her legs—a luxury that she hasn’t experienced since before the Galra attacked 10,000 years ago—and she sobs for a life she can’t have.

* * *

_While tiptoeing the line between life and death, Allura remembers a murmur in her ear, soft and light, and had opened her eyes to sunlight streaming in through huge windows, and when she’d raised her head, there she was, in her room._

_The murmuring continued, and when she had looked down, Shiro had been by her side, snoring lightly, and she remembers carding her fingers through his hair, and had furrowed her brows at his long it was. Had it been really that long since she died that she was a ghost, doomed to watch him live out his life?_

_The door had creaked open, and she watches in shock as three little ones poke their heads in, giggling, and she’s blown away by how much like Shiro they look; the tallest one has his pale skin and his inky hair, and the one next to him one has her lover’s gleaming grey eyes._

_But what makes her breath catch in her throat is the smallest one, who has the coloring of an Altean, glowing marks on her cheeks and collarbones. She stares at the trio of them, wondering what they’re up to, and realizes they’re dragging something in, and smothers a giggle when she recognizes it; it’s a puppy with a big red bow tied around it’s neck._

_As all three of them try to life the animal, their hair shifts and reveals pointed ears for all three of them, and there’s a lump in her throat, threatening to choke her as she realizes the room they’re in is the Royal Suite, where the Queen and King or reigning Princess stays._

_She’s in bed with her lover that is hers no longer, and there are three little ones at the door, giggling, and she watches as the oldest creeps to the other side when he looks her way and smirks, and she wonders if he can see her._

_Pressing his pointer finger to his lips, Allura realizes with shock that he can, and although her insides are twisted in confusion she smiles back. The tallest waves his siblings forward, and when she looks over, there’s a little girl with platinum hair and striking grey eyes against pale skin launching herself at the confused woman, and the Altean Princess finds herself falling against the excessive pillows, the little girl’s arms wrapped around her shoulders._

_The girl in her arms is giggling quietly, blabbering on about puppies and something slurred in Altean, and she struggles to understand the uttered words as she holds the little girl close, hope stirring in her chest, but she pushes is back down as she buries herself in her hair, breathing in the long-lost scent of Altea._

_This has to be her subconscious building a world she’ll stay in until she moves on into the afterlife, and she thinks, as she flutters her fingers against the squirming girl’s sides and the little one squeals, that this can’t be that bad._

_Her mind has imagined worse._

_Someone shifts beside her, and she moves her gaze to the man laying on his stomach beside her, and the little girl in her arms is so excited she doesn’t see her dad crack open an eye, and when their eyes connect, Allura’s heart melts into her ribs, because she’s missed his eyes so much._

_There’s suddenly a puppy in his face, licking his neck with it’s sandpaper tongue and she’s giggling uncontrollably as the_ _boys descend into fits of snickers that have no end and her lover is surging up in bed, grabbing the animal by it’s wiggling torso and the puppy attacks his face with a new vigor, licking every inch his little tongue can reach, and the bedroom is filled with peals of laughter._

_The sheets fall from his form as he leans forward to swipe at the trickster duo and they squeal with delight as he scoops them up, peppering them with kisses, but all Allura can comprehend is his chest, bare and still scattered with scars._

_The one that makes her heart ache inside her hollow chest is the one that spans from between his pectorals to the dip of his hips, the ‘v’ that’s carved into his ivory skin from training, and it screams out against his creamy color, angry and red, and all she wants is to trace it, run her lips over it and tell him he’s beautiful._

_She blushes, tries to look away from his gaze, ashamed at her thoughts, but then there’s an arm around her, and she starts at the contact. His skin is warm, and she’s left wondering where his metal arm as he pulls her in, laying a kiss on her forehead as he snuggles his family close._

_In the light of the morning sun, Allura looks up at her husband, closes her eyes, and accepts that this is not her future, this is not what’s to come, this is something her brain has made up to cope with the stress, the lack of oxygen, and she rests her head against his chest, listening to the steady beat,_

_In that moment, she knows that if she had the chance to do it all over again, she would do it; she would flip them in the sand, taking the bullets meant for him, shielding him with her own broken and battered body, giving him the gift of life and finding someone who could give him this._

_She can’t give him the future he wants._

_Turns out, 10,000 years in a cryo-tube destroys your reproductive system._

_It hadn’t mattered until she fell into bed with him that first night, and he had pressed kisses into her neck as he leaned over, soft with her body, and she had pushed on, arching into his feather touches._

_This is something she can’t have, she can’t provide, and she whispers apologies into her little girl’s hair and holds her tight against her chest. Shiro whispers about them, his beloved family, his beautiful girls and handsome little boys, and she closes her eyes to a world she can’t live in._

_Her arms are heavy with emptiness, and her chest hollows out._

_But it’s for the best._

_Allura surrenders herself to the darkness with wet eyes and an empty heart that hangs limp in her ribcage._

* * *

“You know this isn’t real, right Allura?”

 

She can’t look at him, can’t let the hope that flutters in her chest break into her heart, because _she knows_ this isn’t real, just like all those times she visited her father and they laid in the meadow. The silence between them stretches until she feels like he _is_ actually dead, but when her chest beats with panic and she whips her head to the side, he’s still there, vibrant and alive, but she’s afraid this is another dream.

 

Her shaking hand stretches to the place between them, dead weight, and his heart beats strongly under her palm, and her breath releases, letting loose the animal of fear inside her ribcage.

 

“Hey.”

 

She can’t look him in the eye because she’s practically on top of him, propped on her elbow, eyes fixed determinedly on his chest as it rises and falls, trying to convince herself that yes, he is alive. Granted, he’s been in a cryo-tube for a month, but his heart still beats strong.

 

“Allura, _please._ ”

 

The plea draws her eyes, and the second they connect gazes, she’s crying and he’s pulling her in, face soft with emotion, and she’s snuggled against his chest as she sobs for him, because she had used her body as a shield for a reason.

 

Allura had thrown her leg over his knee, hooking it and flipping them in the sand that invaded her senses, and had taken those bullets because she _loved_ him, _loves him in the present tense,_ and the thought of watching him save her is too much. He’s done so much for her, and in that moment, she knew how to pay him back for everything.

 

“I missed you _so_ much, Takashi.”

 

Above her head, she feels his breath stutter, because that’s a name he only heard from her, a piece of information she received as they lay in bed, tired from their lovemaking. Shiro had traced her Altea marks on her hip, slick with sweat, and had told her about his family.

 

“I know, my love, and I’m sorry—“ But she’s already crying again because she should be the one hanging between life and death, behind the glass, because he deserves to move on, to be happy, to have kids and a _family_ , and she can’t provide him with that.

 

“No, Shiro, I’m sorry.” He’s opening his mouth to contradict her, but she keeps talking because she’s bottled it up for a month, the guilt eating away at her ribcage, a steady descent into her heart, and she finds that once she starts, she can’t.

 

“You were gone for _two months_ , and just _seeing_ your pillow in my bed made my heart ache and it felt like I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t even eat. Shiro, I never slept the entire time you were and yeah Alteans can survive a year without sleep and I know you’re probably mad at me but I couldn’t bear to fall asleep with the knowledge you wouldn’t be there to kiss me awake. I found the sketches in Black’s panel and the photograph under your pillow and everything hurt. Once I found out you were alive, I jetted out into space without a second fault, without backup, without armor.”

 

“I was reckless. I could have gotten you killed, and because of my _stupid_ heart I ran into a situation without the Paladins and now…you almost died because of me.”

 

Her voice grows quiet with the last few words until the last one dissolves into the wind between them, and she can’t look him in the eye because her own are wet with tears, and her chest heaves with sobs that rips from her vocal chords, but she feels _lighter._

 

Shiro says nothing, and she grows worried, looking up at him, and the second she does, his hand is under her chin, cupping her cheeks and he’s leaning in.

 

The familiar feel of his lips against her makes her sobbing worse but it’s happy now, laughter breaking through the rain clouds and he slips his strong, warm arms around her, holding her close as she aligns her body with his and tilts her head.

 

The kiss deepens and his fingers are splayed against her back and her own palms are in his hair, and although there’s no space between them, she wants _more_ , wants the past, wants something she _can’t have_ , but she doesn’t care.

 

Slowly the chaste kisses turn into pecks and she sighs, raking her nails through his hair as he presses kisses to the Altea marks on her face, and she knows this is fake, but she has to let herself _believe_ in something again, even if it’s false.

 

“Allura, I was never mad at you. I would never, in a hundred years, in a thousand, in a _million_ years, be mad at you. What you did hurt me, I hate watching you get hurt, but you saved me. I know I’m more susceptible to injuries being human, and what you did was probably because you knew you would survive it and I might not but…”

 

His voice trails off and she buries her head in his chest again, rubbing circles into the place right above his heart, and it spurs him on.

 

“I was awake the entire way back to the Castle, Allura. I was doomed to be awake and watch as you convulsed on that table, as your heart stopped _twice_ , and there was nothing I could do because I couldn’t _move,_ couldn’t say your name, couldn’t reassure you I was there as you called out for me in your sleep.”

 

Allura didn’t know she had called out for him, but then again, she remembers nothing but threads of that hour. She remembers the panels above her, the feeling of floating, and the next thing her lucid mind can recall is the dream she had in this very meadow.

 

"Shiro—"

 

He's no longer looking at her, as if he simply can't bear to, and she has to slip her fingers under his chin, bringing his eyes to hers, and though the clear pain in his eyes sends a pang straight to her heart, she stills smiles softly, wrapping him in her arms, letting his ear press to her chest where her heart beats strong against her ribcage.

 

"I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere. I promise."

 

His own arms wrap around her middle and she lays back, letting her hair splay beneath her, and Shiro's head is on her chest, and she lets herself relax as she feels her lover's breath start to even out with the comfort of sleep.

 

She falls asleep under the shady oak, the buzzing of bees in her ear and the steady weight of the Black Paladin on her chest, and even though everything's uncertain; his next breath, the next beat of her heart, she knows--somehow--that they're going to be alright.

 

_They're survivors._

* * *

Three days later, Shiro opens his eyes to his lover, and she throws her arms around him as the final barrier that separates them is broken through, and she's sobbing, but he's no better, and off to the side, her royal advisor smiles and deactivates the memory translator.

 

The purple crystals inside the glass tube fade, but the man in the princess' arms doesn't.

* * *

The years pass like moments from there on out, and every obstacle faced is an obstacle met, and two years later, they stand in front of a crowd on Earth, Zarkon defeated. They stand side-by-side, cameras flashing around them, and they're crying, hanging on to each other in relief, and somewhere in the audience Lance's mom cries, as does Katie's as she rushes onto the platform to her returned family.

 

The widowed mother throws her arms around her children, both only three years older but infinitely more mentally, and though they both bear their own scars, they're still children, and the three collapse in each other's embraces.

 

They won.

* * *

The team makes fun of Lance when he cries at their wedding, sniffling the entire time they exchange their vows and desperately trying not to get his tears on his suit, and although the rest of Voltron laughs at him, they all know that they cried also.

 

Shiro presses a kiss to her knuckles as he leads her to the dance floor, her white dress fanning out from her hips and gliding over the ground, and she's in her husband's arms as they sway to the music.

 

Allura smiles as she spots Lance and his own husband off to the side, doing the same, the Blue Paladin smiling softly as his lover presses his nose to the junction of his neck, burying his face in his husband's dark skin, and there's Hunk and Shay, and Katie's in a dress, laughing as she spins her brother across the waxed floor.

 

She wasn't so sure when Shiro asked her to stay on Earth, but she had nowhere to go; no Altea, and although he was taken back by her almost immediate yes, he had smiled.

 

The former princess watches her advisor sniff at the red liquid in his glass, and she laughs softly over the Black Paladin's shoulder as he samples it and wrinkles his nose in distaste before trying again, sipping lightly.

 

They're going to be just fine.

* * *

Although they protested that the entire team didn't have to be there, none of them fail to show up when the little girl with the brown curly hair and giggling eyes is pressed into the waiting arms of Mr. and Mr. McClain-Kogane, and they all coo over her.

 

The little girl—who the two husbands agreed to name Adabel, Spanish for 'love'—watch those who lean over her with curiosity and when she's passed around she doesn't cry, just gurgles up at them, and Allura wishes this is something she could provide, but she can't.

 

Not wanting to ruin the scene, she presses a kiss to Addie's forehead and passes her to Hunk's outstretched arms, and leans back into Shiro's chest. There's a spark of something in her heart, something she can't comprehend.

 

Her husband knows she can't produce, and it pains her to admit that she can't, but he brushes his lips over the crown of scalp and whispers that it's all right.

 

Allura watches the two men in front of her regale the little girl with tales of robotic lions and people who save the galaxies from huge cranky kittens ("Lance, they aren't cats." "Shush mullet, you're just offended because you are one.") and muffles her laugh in her lover's chest.

 

They'll be fine parents.

* * *

Over the next few years they attend more than one wedding--first is Hunk and Shay's, then Katie and a man who looks at her like she's the entire galaxy in human form but still is not afraid to spar with her, then finally, years later, their very own Addie's, but that's not for many moons, and everyone has their own children by then.

* * *

She woke to a giggle in her ear, and she didn't have to open her eyes to know who it was.

 

Staying still and holding her breath so the little boy over her shoulder didn't notice she had awoken, she lightly jostled her husband, and tried not to laugh as he grumbled and rolled over. She was on her own.

 

The little boy was trying to stifle his giggling, and the bed shifted as he stuck his head under the covers, shimmying up the mattress until he reached her, and when his nose brushed against her's, she had burst into laughter and scooped him up.

 

He had squealed as she tickled his sides, squirming in excitement as she blew kisses against his stomach, and he pushed against her grasp, but she didn't relent, smothering him in love. Her laughter only doubled when a new pair of arms entered the scene and suddenly the little boy was gone from her arms, only to be wrapped into her lover's, and Shiro cuddled him against his bare chest, playfully chastising him.

 

"You woke my Sleeping Beauty, dragon, and for that you must pay!"

 

The little boy's chest heaved with laughter as he scrambled to get away, knowing the game they're playing either ends with the older man catching him or the rare occasion that he's beaten Prince Phillip to Aurora, and he was off the bed and running around the bed within seconds.

 

Allura's lover was after him within a heartbeat, chasing him with outstretched arms, and the little boy, in his haste, slipped on the hardwood floor, but used it to his advantage and let his momentum take him through the door into the hallway, and Shiro followed faithfully.

 

Her hair was mussed from sleep, hips sore from the night before, and her lover had returned with the little boy in his arms, heaving, as their little man tried to spit fire at the larger heroine, and Shiro threw him onto the bed, grabbing his ankles and dragging him back when the toddler scrambled for his freedom.

 

"Help me, Princess!"

 

Aurora never helped the dragon in the fairytale, one she was used to hearing on nights their daughter couldn't sleep and climbed into their bed instead, but she couldn't help herself, because her fairytale ended differently, so why can't this one?

 

With a bellow she scooped him up, curled her body around the toddler, and the look of pure confusion on her husband's face was worth it as the little boy in her arms held onto her shoulders, body fitted against her rounded belly.

 

Shiro knew he's fighting a unbeatable battle when the toddler in her arms smirked and hissed, pretending to spit fire, and the older man clutched his chest, groaning, before he dropped to the ground, and the two of them had cheered.

 

Yes, Prince Phillip never died, and Aurora never saved the dragon, but things were different then, and as she peeked over the edge at her silly husband who laid splayed on the floor, tongue sticking out as he pretended to be dead, and she laughed, she was transported back, to a time when things weren't so certain, but they were just as happy.

 

_She giggles, and he looks up, scowling, but she knows there’s no malice there. “Enjoying the view, your highness?” Allura tucks a hand under her chin, watching him with amusement._

_“Quite, my dear.”_

The door creaked open and there was Thaddeus' twin, Sachi, eyes curious, and she had taken in the scene before giggling, and had launched herself at her beloved dad, and she landed on his chest, wrapping her arms around his broad and scarred chest and he let out an _oomph!_ but still smiled, surrounding her with his own arms, and their toddler giggled as he stroked her stomach with his soft hands.

 

"Is he moving, Mama?"

 

She had nodded and covered his hand with her own, guiding his hand higher on her rounded stomach, where his soon-to-be little brother kicked excitedly, eager to join the happy scene.

 

"He is, and," she leaned in to whisper, "I think Alfor's very excited to meet you, T."

* * *

Allura cries, sobs full and gut-wrenching and they tear from her throat as she cradles her stomach in that white room and mourns the loss of a little boy she never got to hold, never got to kiss and smooth the hair off his forehead.

 

She wonders if this is fate, as cruel as time tells, because just like his namesake, Alfor is gone.

 

The former princess had woken the night before to sharp pains in her stomach and red-stained sheets, and with a cry, woke her husband, who promptly carried her to the car and sped off, dialing Keith to watch the twins.

 

He had swerved, one hand on the wheel and the other in hers as she took deep breaths that stuttered with sobs and tries to ignore the feeling that crept up her spine.

 

She remembers little more of that night: a hand wrapped around her own, a strength carrying her, so solid and warm and how she cried when it left her, abandoning her to the bright lights above her and the future uncertain ahead.

 

Only two hours she awakes to a world where Shiro cradles her hand in his and crawls into bed with her, smoothing his hands over her arms and she breaks in his arms, whispering she's _sorry, I'm so sorry my love, I lost him, he's gone, it's all my fault,_ but he just shushes her and they cry together as the world around them spins on without their little boy.

 

Thaddeus never got to meet his little brother, and neither did Shiro or Allura or Sachi.

* * *

It takes weeks for her body to rid itself of the fluid inside, and she watches, helpless, as her rounded belly disappears, as well as that last shred of hope that whispered that the little boy inside her was still there, that the doctors were wrong.

 

That night, Allura cries herself to sleep, wrapped in her lover's arms, and cradles a hollow place that once held life and hope. 

* * *

Raanan Alon is placed into the waiting arms of Allura and Takashi Shirogane on the dark and stormy night of January 23rd, and she holds the little boy close, promising him a life away from the war that stole his parents and his voice, and when the two arrive home to two very excited children, eager to meet their new little brother, the world seems to spin again.

 

There are still nights she and him bolt awake from nightmares of losing children and each other, and when they reach across the bed, the other is always there, and whenever her husband awakes from a nightmare, she finds him in the nursery, painted a deep blue, and watches, content, as he sings softly to the little boy in the crib.

 

" _Koroshi-ya no gakkō wa, yōkide shiawase-sō ni miemasuga, sutorīmuto~uī to~uī ni sotte oyogu, sutorīmuto~uīto~uī ni sotte oyoide, ssho ni iku to~uī - to~ūi."_

Allura lets herself sway to the sound of her husband's voice, and smiles into the darkness outside the nursery door, and listens to the soft humming of the twins in the rooms next to the nursery.

 

This is not her happy ending, not the end of her story where the princess and the prince ride off into the sunset, but rather the beginning, and it begins on a stormy night where rain pounds against the windows and lightning and thunder in the sky above, but here in their sanctuary, in their house, their family _lives._

* * *

The years fly by, and soon she's escorting her little girl down the aisle to a man with sparkling eyes meant only for her little miracle, her and Shiro's _hana_ , and not two years later she's holding a newborn little girl with her dark skin and her daughter's eyes, and she watches her family grow.

 

Thaddeus settles down with a Balmera he met on one of his piloting endeavors, and she and Shiro (but especially Shiro) become enamored with the little boy they adopt that explores the world with wide eyes and an open mind.

 

Raanan doesn't marry or find anyone until he's older, until he's achieved great leaps in communication patterns with different species, and the two watch with pride as their little _kiseki_ shakes hands with diplomatic leaders and accepts awards that hand around his neck and he signs proudly to the world.

 

Allura leans into Shiro's side as they watch Ran (as they've come to call him because it's easier for them to sign) spin his new bride around the dance floor, smile wide, and she thinks this is what her father wanted her to have.

 

All those years ago when he pushed her into a cryotube against her will to save her for what was to come; he had kissed her forehead and whispered into her ear.

 

_Don't miss your happy ending, my love._

She tilts her head back to kiss her husband, running her fingers through his now almost all-white hair, rather than just the tuft, and that night as he trails kisses down her back and she leans into his touch, she knows this is what he meant.

* * *

They are there for Lance's funeral, and then Keith's, and Allura stands at that coffin alone, only Addie and Olivia (the Yellow Paladin's only daughter) by her side, because Shiro is in his own, not far from here, and she weeps for the Red Paladin and his husband, for _her husband_ , and places flowers at each grave.

 

She sets lillies on Hunk and Shay's graves before watering the liliac bush that grows above Lance's, and the forget-me-nots that litter the ground next to the Red Paladin's, and after visiting the empty graves that were carved for Katie and her husband after an accident that none could find their remains in afterwards, Allura walks from that graveyard, marked only for the defenders of the universe and their families, with a hollow in her chest she hasn't felt in years.

* * *

 

The night the Altean Princess passes from the Earth, she's surrounded with four generations of Shiroganes, and her last sight is of the twins pressing dual kisses to her forehead with teary eyes and closing her eyes to the feeling of Raanan signing _I love you_ into her palm over and over again until her chest rises and falls for the last time.

* * *

A white sheet is draped over the cold form of the otherwordly beauty, and high above it all, amongst the stars they once traveled, a fully formed Voltron once again is reunited.

 

A constellation burns bright that night; a V that spans the sky and extends outwards, blanketing the Earth in it's wings, and those who peer through telescopes scribble notes and the children of the heroes look up, stars sparkling in their eyes.

 

Hands finds hands and as Adabel and Raanan and Thaddeus and Sachi and Olivia look up and tears water in the corner of their eyes, they know that no matter what, Earth will be protected by the brave seven warriors that _fought_ and _won_ and _lived_.

 

The _Ippótis Íroes_ constellation burns bright for one night only, then fades into the inky black, but is never truly gone, and with each death, it grows bigger until the sky is dotted with the remains of the heroes that saved the Earth.

 

When the last descendant dies, too far down the tree that it's centuries later after the first death of the Green Paladin and her lover, the constellation finally fades from view forever and from the Lions of Voltron, five new heroes watch.

* * *

Time ebbs and flows like the tide, and people live and die and laugh and cry, and every tear shed and every touch of laughter and every wail of a newborn baby and last breath of a soul with a well-lived life is notes in a song that makes up Earth, and those who protected it all those eons ago.

* * *

_"Once upon a time, there lived a beautiful Princess and her Prince. Together, with their family, they formed a legendary defender by the name of Voltron and defeated the evils of the universe."_

_"And they all lived happily ever after, right mama?"_

_"Yes my dear. They did, and even now they're up there, watching over us."_

_The little girl peers up, eyes glistening with the reflection of the constellation above, and she swears in that moment that one day she'll become a Paladin of Voltron, she'll defend the universe from anything that stands against it and she'll find her happy ending._

 

**Author's Note:**

> my fingers are rioting,,, everything hurts,,,, jo rules sovereign over my heart,,, 
> 
> this snowballed out of my control so fast rip
> 
> welp
> 
> ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ


End file.
